Roses Are Red
by sweetlylethal
Summary: - Three Shot - "So, Gallagher Girl, How was your date?" "What date?" "with Jimmy." "Don't you know the meaning of 'privacy', Zach?" "Last time I checked, Gallagher Girl, we go to spy school. Privacy doesn't exist."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N :  
>Okay. So. This is my SECOND one shot on fanfiction. I wrote it to thank all of those who read and reviewed so sweetly on my FIRST one shot called The East Wing (go read it. tell me what you think) And, this actually turned into a THREE shot. Because it ended up being 25 pages long on Word Processor. <strong>  
><strong>So, in order to attempt to keep your attention, I split it up :) Very much like, The East Wing, this three shot is based along the lines of a GG5 I have going in my mind to keep me entertained until March. Which actually I'm writing THAT story, and the second chapter will be up soon (it's called A Record of Covert Operations by Zachary Goode - that's the long name). Things should be pretty self explanatory. You shouldn't have to do much thinking cause I try to repeat info often. But, if you're completely confused and you just really have an urge to know, PM me, and I'll explain just for you. :) <strong>

**Okay. Enough of the info. **  
><strong>I hope you enjoy a little piece I like to call, Roses are Red. <strong>  
><strong>Tell me what you think :D<strong>

**Disclaimer: It must be nice to be Ally Carter. It really stinks that I'm not. **

Alright.  
>Just for the record. The only thing that got me out the door that day and started this whole big mess was the words of a one Elizabeth Sutton:<p>

"Come on, Cammie, you have to go" she pleaded.

Her soft brown eyes sparkled, the Sunday sunlight from the window reflecting off of them just right. My view of her pout from my pillow practically broke me in half and forced me to survey my two other best friends and second guess my decision to stay inside the walls of Gallagher Academy that day.

Bex stood firmly next to the door. Arms crossed and a concerned smudge on her face.

Macey sat on the end of my bed, leaning across to place her delicate head on the wall beside me. She slouched and sighed, staring at me in a position that would look unattractive on every other girl in the world. But, of course, not her. And, her perfection, as always, made me cringe and was only one of the reasons I hid my face once again under my covers.

The other main reasons were the following:  
>1) I had a <em>very<em> bad feeling about giving into their requests  
>and 2) my best friends' convincing and ability to yank me out of bed against my will…<br>was making it hard _not_to give in.

"Why?" I muttered lifelessly to the cotton sheets, guilt rising into my stomach.

The previous eight minutes had been spent in the longest conversation I had kept up with my roommates in the past few weeks. And, that's sad. Believe me. Because all it consisted of was their attempt at persuading me to get up from my bed and actually face the world.  
>To do something I was quite sure I wasn't ready to do yet.<br>Go back out into Roseville.

"Because, you haven't been yourself."

Bex made her point frank and short. But, my trained ears could hear the pain in them. It was something I experienced with Macey long ago. To have your best friend there but not really _there._  
>It's like you had all the equipment.<br>But, you couldn't make the connection.  
>And, things weren't the same. They were far from the same.<p>

And, considering I had been gone for 10 months.  
>Considering I had been perched on the edge of death in a comatose state for 6 of those months.<br>Considering that things as traumatic as what had happened with the Circle that I don't care to list at this moment due to the raw nerves still exposed around the subject, can shake anyone up. Badly.

Bex hit the nail on the head.  
>Things were definitely not the same.<p>

"And, a class trip to Roseville is going to change that?" I asked, glancing back up at my friends with a numbness that had haunted me ever since my return. There was no fire, no passion behind anything I did anymore. It was as if I'd seen too much fire. And, I'd lost all the life in me because of it.

The room fell silent as if a long held hope had just been lost.  
>My three best friends exchanged a look.<p>

"You need to get out." Mace stated practically while I met with her icy blue eyes as she forced the smile no one else could, "You need to have fun."

I sighed heavily and tried my best to see the world as I saw it before the Circle. To see my best friends as my best friends again and not just as my roommates who didn't have the clearance level to know what happened, or rather didn't have a witness who was willing to relive it just yet.  
>And, that's when Liz worked her magic.<p>

"Pretty please, Cam"  
>Her face was dressed in pure sadness. A sadness that begged me to grant the little blonde's wishes and once again, be myself. My face twitched in apology.<p>

"Cammie," Bex interrupted Liz's silent plead and laid it down for me straight.

"I understand. Things happened. We don't have to talk about it," she waved away the nightmares that were living still in my mind ever since I woke up like it was that easy.  
>Which I wished with all my heart that it was.<br>"But, you lived through all this. So, it's time for you to _live.  
><em>And, Roseville isthe best we've got right now"

And, with that there was no more argument. I forced a soft smile at my best friends' persistent effort to nurse me back to health, and climbed out of bed with all the strength I could muster.

And, so, that was that.  
>Bex did my hair.<br>Macey did my make-up and picked out my clothes.  
>And, Liz calculated all the possible options we could take to suit the scientific definition of the phrase "have fun" during the Gallagher Academy trip to town; including the number of movies out, their world wide ratings and the percentage in our favor that we had of enjoying them as well as a record of all popularly approved restaurants and eateries and the amount of time it would take us to get our food depending on the time of arrival.<p>

And, apparently, after a 10 minute data report, Liz assured us all that the stats were in our favor and that if no alien invasions, or rogue operations took place within the sleepy town of Roseville, Virginia during our visit, we would, indeed, "have a blast".  
>This assurance of course led Macey to roll her eyes as if Liz was over calculating.<br>Which she probably was.  
>And, that "fun" would just simply happen.<br>And, that I didn't have to worry about a thing.

But, unfortunately, both were wrong.  
>Because of the following:<br>a) Liz forgot to calculate the odds of running into ruminants of the past that would decrease the fun possible to be had in one particular afternoon  
>and<br>b) Macey didn't factor in the ingredient of fate and how much fate could really _really _stress a girl out and send her already messed up mind into pure and utter…  
>chaos.<br>making it, of course, impossible for fun to just simply…happen.

And, despite the fact that I was actually kind of having fun.

Despite the fact that Liz had gotten me to laugh – an apparently very difficult task since I came home- 4 total times, 2 of those times by accidently falling into a fountain…consecutively.

Despite the fact that Bex had brought up almost every possible conversation she knew would entertain me ( including the rumor flying around that Mr. Smith had undermined a prostitution ring in Russia that led to the discovery of an clandestine nuclear weapon development in eastern Siberia all over the summer I was gone…)

The slight miscalculations of my friends, and some of the most exceptional young women in the world – who, trust me, don't make miscalculations that often, not even _slight_ ones – hindered the entire trip and with the sound of my name, things took a turn for not necessarily the worst.  
>But, definitely for the <em>confusing.<br>_  
>"Cammie….?"<p>

A voice interrupted Macey's one sided conversation over how if she didn't come in contact with one decent guy during her father's campaign tour for slot as Governor of Virginia this coming summer she was going to seriously "kill herself and take someone with her", which, though said in a tone very much like any other teenage girl's, was definitely was a possibility considering she had caught up to the Senior class in P&E.  
>And, with a glance over the shoulder, Macey stopped talking and any fun that had generated in the last three hours and thirty minutes, had flew out the window and was replaced with fear, or surprise, or confusion.<p>

"Oh my…" Liz muttered what we were all thinking as a boy, who just turned the corner began to jog to our location, his familiar blue eyes fixed on me.

It had been a long time since I had seen Josh Abrams.  
>And, to tell you the truth I had almost forgotten about him.<p>

Shocking, right?

Yeah. I was shocked too.  
>But, I guess that's what ancient terrorist groups, a little over two years, and extremely dreamy mysterious spy boys could do to you.<p>

"Cammie Morgan?"

I turned around with more shame than I thought ever possible. Because, after 10 months of being outwitted, the spy in my couldn't take another blow.  
>And, in this circumstance, I would have to. Because, once again.<br>I was completely _unprepared._

Forcing a smile up, I forced butterflies down as I locked my focus with his.

"Josh. Wow." I sighed then turned to send a panicked look to my friends who stood beside me.  
>And, in return I expected some help out of the current crisis at hand.<br>I didn't want to be here.  
>But, all I got was "Catch up with you later, Cams," ringing from Bex's mouth as she and the others continued their route to the pizza parlor and left me alone.<br>They bailed.  
>And, left me to fend for myself.<br>With Josh.  
>And, after all this time, he still made me uneasy. Things were still awkward.<br>And, I was still clueless on how to handle it.

"It's been awhile," He smiled as he stepped closer to me, breathing into his hands to warm them up in the early March frost. I nodded then swallowed.

"I…Uh…What were you doing?"

He looked at me as if he was sorry he didn't explain himself sooner.

"Oh! I was just taking a walk." He said, his voice as sweet as the ice cream served in the back of his father's pharmacy. And, as I thought about it, those memories seemed almost like distant dreams.

"Getting some air," he finished, and it didn't take a trained operative to see that something was deeply bothering Josh Abrams.  
>His pulse was racing. His hands were shaking far too much despite the cold. And his breathing held itself almost as if he let his air out, the whole world would collapse.<p>

I wanted to ask what was wrong. I wanted to make sure he was okay, but I was suddenly distracted. By a figure on the edge of the sidewalk across the road.  
>A man it seemed.<br>He had been strolling through the square earlier.  
>And, when I glanced at the window into Anderson's Accessories directly behind Josh, the figure broke his interest with the tools in the hardware store's windows far too quickly before retreating around the corner. This hesitation forced Josh to continue the conversation.<p>

"What about you? Are you out with your school?"  
>Josh's ever-soft voice shook me from my paranoia.<br>My breathing hitched as I watched my visual on the man disappear.  
>I needed to go after him.<br>I needed to catch up with my friends. I needed to tell them.  
>I needed to find out if something was going on.<br>I needed to get back to Gallagher.  
>But, I was interrupted again.<p>

"Cammie? Are you alright?"  
>"What?" I flinched, giving up, hearing Bex's voice in my mind.<p>

_"Relax, Cam."_

I knew my friends weren't far from my location. I knew they were tailing me, watching me  
>. I could feel it. But, I could also sense something else.<br>Someone else was there.  
>Someone else was watching me.<br>And, the feeling was so familiar that I had to believe that I had encountered it before.  
>But, I couldn't put my finger on it. It was as if my mind wouldn't let me remember for a reason.<p>

_"It's probably just your imagination." _

Very rarely would my _spies-in-training_ roommates ever advise me to do something so against what any _good spy _should do: doubt their instincts and forget a possible threat.  
>But, lately. I had needed to. Just to keep from going insane.<br>Because, I admit. This wasn't the first time I had felt someone watching me. Someone after me.

And, because I had felt it for so long, my friends considered it was post-traumatic-stress.  
>That I was just losing it.<p>

"Yeah, I'm okay," I nodded to Josh. He smiled and suddenly the world was light again.  
>And, I saw it as he did. Care free. Beautiful.<br>"Oh. Okay. Good." Josh swept his light brown hair away from his face as he grinned, then surveyed me ponderously.  
>"You must be cold."<br>And, when I thought about it. I hadn't brought a coat. And, I was cold.  
>Freezing, actually.<p>

"Here take my coat." Josh proceeded to take off his red winter jacket and offer it to me.

"Oh no." I stopped him feeling a pang in my stomach, "I couldn't."

I half expected the boy in front of me to cock his head, raise his eyebrows and smirk.  
>I half expected him to show me that he knew I was freezing despite my skilled attempts to hide it and I half expected myself to hate the fact that he knew it.<br>I half expected him to simply put the jacket on me, not taking no for an answer.  
>I half expected him to place his forehead on mine for extra warmth, dip me, despite the light bustle of shoppers around us, and kiss me in front of all of them.<p>

But, when Josh did none of those things.  
>I was surprised to find myself disappointed.<p>

"Are you sure?" Josh questioned his offer, obviously conflicted as to impose on an action that would have only been acceptable the fall of my sophomore year. His eyes glistened with the guilt that he was warm and I wasn't, and as sweet as his face was, I easily shook my head and lied.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Alright…" He smiled his perfect smile a little bit, "But, if you get frost bite, I'm going to have to insist you get everything you need from the Pharmacy for free."

It was sweet. And, I wondered for a second why I wasn't swooning like I used to around him.  
>"Um…" He hesitated after standing awkwardly for a good twelve in a half seconds,<br>"You want to join me?"

He motioned down the path alongside the shops off the town square that he had been making his way down only moments earlier.  
>I thought for a second.<br>Maybe this would be fun.  
>Maybe this could bring back old memories, my old world.<br>Maybe this could relieve my best friends' stress over me.  
>Maybe this would be good for me.<br>And, so I smiled to my first boyfriend, my first crush, my first kiss, and said:

"Sure."

And we continued in silence.  
>And that's when I saw another figure.<br>A shadow that moved as we did, almost. I searched desperately for a reflective surface to look behind me at the right angle, in the right place, but all I caught was the movement of a man slowing with the crowd as he decided to move forward toward the gazebo.  
>For some reason I felt like I knew that shadow, and that shadow knew me.<br>I felt like _if _that shadow _really_wanted to be hidden, it wouldn't change its pace clearly without motivation, and fight against the grain of the quick moving crowd, making him easily noticed.

But, I didn't have much time to think about it because Josh started once again to make conversation.

"So, your friends said you were sick for awhile?"  
>Now, this caught my attention.<p>

"Really?"

He looked at me and smiled faintly then nodded.

"They came to town sometime in October, and they said you couldn't come to town because you had been pretty sick lately."

I didn't know how Josh had come into contact with my friends.  
>I didn't know why he had felt inclined to ask about me.<br>I didn't know what this meant, if Josh still liked me.  
>And, noting the butterflies still in my stomach and how touched I was that<br>he cared and _showed _me that he cared, I didn't know if I still liked Josh.  
>But, I knew that he had gotten pretty close to the truth.<p>

Yet, he didn't know the whole truth.  
>And, that was the case with a lot of things.<p>

"I got a really bad case of the flu for awhile," I lied once again to Josh's blue eyes smoothly and shrugged as if it the incident was nothing. Nothing compared to say…a coma.  
>"Are you feeling better?"<br>I smiled at his straight forward courtesy. He had nothing to hide.  
>And, to an extent, that was refreshing.<p>

"I am," I said though I wasn't sure if I was lying or not this time.  
>"Thanks."<p>

The next block passed in silence with only the sounds of our breath breaking through the icy air to fill the void. In that short block, a lot of thoughts passed through my mind.  
>And, the one that stood out the most was the one that, without permission,<br>came out of my mouth.

"How's DeeDee?"

With those words, I saw Josh's light face grow dark and the torturing look in his eyes from before reveal themselves. I had hit a soft spot.

"Uh…" He reached his arm up and rubbed his neck nervously as he stopped with me at the corner of the street.  
>He stood uneasily showing no early education in the detailed art of body language or any evidence of reading the first volume of The Science of Bodily Defense covering vulnerable circumstances such as this one. Both incorporated in the 7th grade Gallagher curriculum.<br>In a way, unlike I had ever seen anyone I knew in my life at this point, he was fully exposed.  
>And, he didn't make any effective effort to fix it, except avert his eyes to the flower stand about 5 yards away.<br>Maybe it was because nothing was hidden that I started getting the warmth in my stomach I used to feel with him. Maybe it was because he was easily understandable and that was something I had been deprived of for a long_ long _time.  
>Maybe it was because he was <em>here,<em>  
>and he talked to me,<br>and was sweet to me, that I started to _feel_something again.

"You don't have to answer-"  
>I said that. But, I found that I really wished he <em>would <em>answer. And, in my favor.  
>"No. No." Josh looked to me and inched a grin onto his face, "It's fine. It's just we sort of had a rough break up awhile back."<br>"Oh, I didn't mean to bring it up…" I rushed out, suddenly panicking as if making Josh, an innocent boy, feel uncomfortable was the last thing in the world that I wanted to do. And, really, it was.  
>"It's okay. She just…didn't think I was into the relationship I guess…"<p>

It took a lot of strength in me to voice what I said next for a couple reasons:

a) Josh's sweet complexion was started to make me nervous again  
>b) The man I had seen before swept past the crowd on the sidewalk in front of us causing me to shake off the chills running down my spine again and convince myself that it was nothing – a real threat wouldn't be so carless and obviously seen. Right?<br>c) I wasn't exactly sure whether I wanted to know the answer and what consequences it would call on

"Were you?"

My breath caught up in my throat as Josh looked up at me and started at me intently. He focused his eyes on mine and half-smiled.  
>But, before he could answer, Liz's voice emerged from the pizza parlor across the street, four doors down.<p>

"Cammie!" She called out in her light voice, "The van is leaving in ten minutes" And, with her tone of voice, I could tell she was just holding back tell me the exact time I had left with Josh, down to the nanosecond.

Glancing at the petite girl I slightly nodded, then turned back to Josh who looked like he suddenly realized that sophomore year was a _very_long time ago. And, he had either in that instant just remembered all of the lies I told him, the secrets I kept from him, or he had suddenly forgiven all of it.

Either way, he walked a couple feet, reached into his pocket, flipped a couple quarters to the lady behind the old fashion flower stand and soon was back in front of me with a white daisy in hand.

"What's this for?" I asked dumbly silently wishing Macey could tell me what to think, what to say, how to feel. Because right now, as I looked at the flower out stretched to me.  
>I didn't know what to feel. .<p>

Because, Bex was right.  
>Things had changed.<p>

"If you come back in town again sometime," He said handing me the daisy.  
>"Stop by the Pharmacy if you want and we can go get something to eat or something."<p>

At this point in time, I knew Josh Abrams wasn't lying. I knew I didn't have to check his pulse, his breathing intervals. I didn't have to do anything but take the flower and wonder just what he meant by all of this. And, just how I should react, just how I _wanted_to react.

I wanted to say a lot of things. I wanted to ask a lot of questions.  
>And, I could of.<br>In fourteen different languages.

But, all I could get out was:  
>"Okay."<br>A small nod.  
>A small smile.<br>And, a _whole lot_of mixed emotions churning inside my stomach as Josh Abrams stuck his hands in his jacket pockets, turned around and left with a smile as sweet as pie and as harmless as a fly.


	2. Chapter 2

As a student at the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women, I was certified and educated on how to do a bunch of things you probably wouldn't expect.

I could explain to you the entirety of the Manhattan Project, analyze the blue prints of its product and build you a working miniature prototype of the first atomic bomb all in about 34 minutes.

I could crack over a hundred different CIA codes, including the 4 new ones, and create a fire wall that would make North Korea's virtual barriers from the outside world look like a child's computer game.

I could teach you in full detail all about Malawi's culture, the 16 different dialects found within the sparsely populated regions of the country, and warn you never to point with your feet within any country in East Asia unless you wanted to lose a toe.

But, I couldn't tell you the first thing about my feelings when it came to boys.  
>Because, honestly, that was a code I was still trying to crack.<br>And, unfortunately for me at the moment, I wasn't working alone on this one.

"So, what happened?" Bex asked in Swahili. I could tell all three of them had been avoiding the subject all night, but as the British beauty plunged her spoon into her desert with more force than necessary, I could tell she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"What do you mean what happened?" I shrugged, taking a bit of tiramisu, doing my best to focus on the creamy coffee flavored cake melting in my mouth rather than what happened earlier.

"With Josh…" Liz whispered in English leaning forward as if I had forgotten.

"You ditched me, that's what happened," I said, still a little bitter, watching Liz shamefully recoil, Bex smile evilly and Macey hold back a laugh.

"It was for your own good." Mace justified.  
>"How was <em>any<em>of this for my own-"

But, I couldn't finish my thought.  
>Because the ghost of a boy that lived in the east wing, the one who talked to me only when <em>he <em>chose to, the one that was so frustrating I could literally scream so loud the at least one of the stain glass windows that decorated our school would shatter, decided to sit down and frustrate me more.  
>Big surprise.<p>

"_So,_ Gallagher Girl,"  
>Zach had swooped out of nowhere and walked up to our table, pushing in between Liz and Bex to sit across from me, grabbed my plate and Liz's extra fork, and started eating.<br>"How was your date?"

My heart dropped. Now _that_was a surprise.

Glancing at my friends, I saw that Liz had stopped eating – spoon halfway to her mouth -, Macey looked up from next month's issue of Vogue, and Bex was still trying extremely hard not to try out the new move we learned in P&E last Wednesday in order to gain her spot back on the bench.

"What date?" I croaked in Swahili trying my best to keep my voice low and out of detection of the girls sitting an ear shot away, as Zach took another bite out of my desert.

"with Jimmy," Zach finished, his mouth full. His emerald eyes met mine and all in about 2 seconds, I connected the dots.

"You were the one tailing me." My mouth gaped.  
>Of course. How could I be so stupid?<p>

But, Zach just ignored my statement and continued talking.  
>"Cause, from what <em>I <em>heard," He leaned toward me and whispered completely disregarding the sign that had forbid us but speaking anything but a dominant African language, "it didn't go well."

"It wasn't a date." I started, but yet again, couldn't finish.

"He gave her a daisy, right?" Zach stuffed his mouth with my desert and turned to Liz, his words mumbling from his lips, but he was certainly louder than he needed to be. And, before I knew it, half of the table was staring at me.

"Isn't that like the flower of death or something?" Zach asked Liz, as if he didn't know every detail of what happened, as if he didn't watch it with his own eyes. Which he did. Her face lit up while she took this opportunity to release her extensive knowledge of well…_everything._

"Well, only officially in Czechoslovakia.  
>But, the daisy is used for a symbol for death all around the world. They're placed on a lot of graves. That's where the phrase "p-."<p>

"So." Zach interrupted Liz's informative speech, looked at me, and smirked, "Basically, Jimmy is _'wishing death upon you'_" His said the end in a "spooky" voice and waved his fork, or rather_ Liz's_fork, around for emphasis.

I froze in the lock of Zach's eyes. He was mocking. He was teasing. Like usual.  
>But, there was something else there.<br>Unfortunately, I couldn't put it into words.  
>I couldn't even get a word out of my mouth in general.<br>And, even if I could, I wouldn't be able to get a word in on the conversation.

Because, right on cue Tina Walters squeezed in next to me and spoke for the rest of the Senior table who's eyes and ears were fixed on the conversation in front of me.  
>"So, Cammie," Tina started in just like she always did. Ready for me to spill the beans giving her the rights to spread the rumor and start the gossip.<br>"Did you _really_ go on a date with Josh today?"  
>"No, Tina. I didn't."<br>"_Yes,_ she did." Zach countered, switching his focus to Tina as if he was more than eager to inform her of what he knew, "And, he gave her a flower. But, not just any flower. A flower of _death_."  
>Before he could take another scoop out of my desert, I yanked the plate back from Zach and watched him fake a pout and focus on my burning red face.<p>

"You're just mad, Gallagher Girl, because Jimmy basically wished for your grave. And, I don't blame you," He smirked and perked his eye brows, leaning closer to me and said in a low voice,  
>"That's not very nice."<p>

Once again I couldn't speak.  
>I couldn't think of something witty to say, or a snappy comeback.<br>I could only see something hidden within Zach's eyes that was incomprehensible.  
>And, as a spy and a girl, I considered it a complete failure to not figure out what it was, even if it meant I had to stare at him all day.<br>Which, I wouldn't necessarily mind.

Following those eyes, I watched Zachary Goode rise from his seat ,place his hands on the table and finish his point right to my face.

"I _definitely_ wouldn't do that to my girlfriend. You know." He lifted his eyebrows.  
>"If I had one."<p>

Zach slyly smiled as he watched the anger boil in my blood.  
>Fuming, I bit my lip and shot out the only thing that came to mind.<p>

"Don't you know the meaning of _privacy_, Zach?"

He half-laughed then grinned, knowing he had won this fight.  
>Won by a long shot. And, let me tell you.<br>I beyond hated it.

"Last time I checked, Gallagher Girl, we go to _spy school_. Privacy doesn't exist."

And, with that. Zach gave a lethal smirk and left our table leaving me with only 1/5 of my desert still on plate and no dignity what so ever. And, considering the silence at the table as he left, all of us had our share of confusion - maybe a little more that we would like.

Dumbstruck, we sat in silence.  
>Even Tina had stopped her chatter with Eva Alvarez about what <em>exactly<em> she thought happened in town today and all that was left was the sound of Macey sighing, and flipping pages in her magazine.  
>Which was big, trust me.<br>Tina doesn't give up gossiping very easily.

But, when Zachary Goode walked away with a look in his eyes that threw all of us off both as girls and as spies, all we could do was sit. And watch. And wonder what on earth he was hiding this time.  
>None of us understood.<p>

And, for the first time in a long time.  
>I didn't feel alone. I felt like I was at home with my sisters again.<br>But, that was only the good part – feeling _together _again.  
>The bad part was: though together, we were all completely <em>lost.<em>  
>And, that surprised me considering the caliber of our education.<p>

What_ didn't_surprise me was the fact that Macey broke the silence with her words of wisdom, explaining the reality of the situation that had just occurred in front of the Senior table with nothing but a simple phrase.

"He's jealous."

Those were the words that reminded the senior girls at Gallagher Academy that we may have been taught how to disable the latest bomb and memorize books in a matter of hours, but we have never been educated _fully_ about the opposite gender.  
>And, that included decoding cryptic behavior said opposite gender was infamous for.<p>

But, though I didn't doubt Macey's expertise, I couldn't bring myself to believe them.

"Mace, that's not true. He-"  
>"Is totally bothered by the fact that you went on a date with Josh and not him." She looked up from her magazine, pursed her lips and stared at me like if what she said was the whole truth and nothing but the truth. And, I had better believe her or so help me God.<p>

"It wasn't a date." I countered.  
>"Whatever." She cut me off quickly while the entire table watched her lips move.<br>"It was an interlude, and _Zachy_didn't like that very much."

I imagined that if _Zachy_ had heard Macey call him _Zachy_, she would have _Zachy's_ fist swiftly aimed at her flawless face. And, the fact that he would probably do such a thing and not think twice about it yet sit here, stare me in the eyes, and have Macey swear up and down that he was feeling emotions, and not just any emotions – _jealous_ ones and for _me_; that fact was the perhaps-most-confusing cherry on top of the whole commotion.  
>And, right then.<br>I wasn't a big fan of cherries.


	3. Chapter 3

Reasons Why I Wouldn't Be Eating Anything Else That Night  
><em>a list by Cameron Morgan <em>

a) Despite the fact that things had happened between me and Josh, and _a lot_of things had happened between me and Zach, I still didn't know what page either boy was on (which was extremely annoying and didn't help my research – at all.)

b) To put everything in simple terms: I didn't know _how_ I felt about Josh. I didn't know _what _to feel about Zach. And, once again, I didn't for sure know how either Josh _or _Zach felt about _me_.

c) The later had eaten the majority of my tiramisu and considering directly after dinner, I found a bouquet of red roses in my room with a simple note that appeared to be written by the same boy with no visible emotions who had eaten said tiramisu I had officially reached my limit of drama.  
>And, therefore, my appetite disappeared.<p>

"Uh…" was all I could get out. And, I could probably say the same for my three wide eyes roommates who stood frozen in their footsteps behind me.  
>If I even could even speak, that is.<p>

"What does it say?" Liz asked lightly breaking all our silent puzzlement as I picked up the flowers laid delicately on top of the sheets of my unmade bed.  
>Reading the note tied to the stems of the flowers with ribbon, I furrowed my eyebrows and flipped the little piece of white paper around holding it up for my best friends to see.<p>

**You deserve better.**

**- Z**

"Can the boy be any more bloody moody?" Bex groaned obviously done with dealing of all of my problems and ready to solve hers by flopping down on her bed, covering her head with a pillow, and shutting her eyes attempting to get some sleep .  
>"He's <em>jealous<em>," Macey sang to herself, pointing out the fact that the flowers in my hand were only proving her conclusion _more _accurate, "He wants to win you over. Hence the roses."  
>Grabbing her pajamas, Mace lifted her eyebrows, popped her lips, and turned on her heels toward the bathroom.<br>"I don't know…" I muttered to myself examining the twelve perfect roses that couldn't possibly be from the guy who just humiliated me in front of the entire senior class, and whatever other parts of the Grand Hall who happened to be listening. Which was probably a majority. Since we all were speaking – or rather, yelling - in English while the rest of the room was chattering in Swahili making our escapade stand out even more. If that was even possible.

"Oh, Come on." Macey yelled exasperated as she gathered her smooth black hair up in a pony tail and emerged from the bathroom, "You can't possibly think that he's anything _but_ jealous of you and Josh. Not after _that_." She motioned to the bouquet.

It didn't make sense. It didn't make sense because I didn't know what was wrong. How was Josh anything but the best? What was wrong with him? What did Zach have that he didn't?

"It's not about what's wrong with _Josh_. It's about the fact that _Zach_ thinks you deserve better than Josh."  
>Bex sat up and spoke after I voiced my concerns, joining teams with Macey who nodded vigorously, toothbrush hanging from her mouth and hands up in the air motioning in agreement, as if someone<em> finally <em>understood.

"He thinks you deserve_ him_."

Sounded like Zach, as cocky and obnoxiously confident as ever.  
>Either way. I had reached my maximum.<br>And, with purpose, I swung the door open and swiftly made my way out into the hallways.  
>In search for answers.<br>Answers very different from those I went searching for last summer.  
>Answers that might even be <em>more <em>difficult to get my hands on.

Okay. That was an overstatement.  
>But, it sure felt like the truth.<p>

I still couldn't tell you to this day how I knew exactly where to go.  
>I had a feeling, a hunch if you will.<br>It was the same one I stupidly couldn't identify on the streets of Roseville.  
>But, there was no mistake this time.<p>

I knew Zach was in my favorite hallway.  
>The one no one used. The one that weaved through the oldest part of the mansion.<br>I knew he was waiting for me.

And, while all the dorms in Gallagher shut their doors to signal the end of the night and the beginning of preparations to get some shut eye, I slid through the corridors undetected knowing somewhere inside of me that my night had only just begun.

"Zach."  
>His name came out almost mad, furious, maybe even desperate. Desperate for an explanation.<p>

For the rest of my life, I'd have to figure out answers. I'd have to rely on my own knowledge, my own instincts, my own training. For 3 months I did it on my own. And, the struggle cost me double that time.  
>So, for once. I didn't think it was so farfetched to ask someone to give me a straight forward answer. To tell me how they felt so I could know how I felt and we could move on from there.<p>

But, as Zach turned his focus from the Gallagher family tapestry and onto me with not the least bit of surprise as I barreled down the hallway, I knew that from someone like Zachary Goode – straight forward answers were out of the question.  
>So, I figured I'd start prying him for them.<p>

"Zach, what is the mea-"  
>"Why didn't you check your tail today?"<br>His voice was as cold as the old stone his shoulder blades leaned on, supporting his entire body.  
>I blinked.<p>

"Would you let me talk, Zach?"  
>I stepped closer, absolutely done with the interruptions and completely ready for a fight.<p>

"No." He answered simply, lifting himself off the wall and stepping to me, "You should have checked your tail, Gallagher Girl."  
>"It was you!" I fought, fire burning violently inside of me. But, apparently I wasn't the only one running on rage.<br>"Yeah. But, what if it wasn't!" He snapped, his voice low and soft, but still powerful. A voice that scared me more than the look he held in his eyes while he only got closer to me.

"_What if it wasn't!"_ I repeated, appalled, "Zach. I can take care of myself."  
>"Apparently not."<p>

I didn't know what he was refering to. Whether he was referencing today, or the rescue party he was a key part of when the Circle had captured me and the world I knew went blood red, and eventurally pitch black. Either way.  
>He laughed sarcastically then turned to walk back to his original resting place, as if he owned the place. As if he owned <em>me<em>.  
>Maybe that thought is what made me snap.<p>

"What exactly is it that's bothering you, Zach, is it the fact that I didn't check my tail. Or that I didn't ditch Josh to come look for you," I crossed my arms, cocked my head.

It all made sense that way. Zach would have never been that sloppy while tailing a subject he didn't want to see him. He was too good for that.  
>So, the only answer that fit was the fact that he wanted me to know he was there.<br>He wanted me to leave Josh, and go after him.  
>There was more to this than spying. There was, what I thought, a lot of teenagers had to deal with, spies or not: this was <em>sabotage<em>. Jealousy in action.  
>Maybe Macey was right.<p>

Zach lifted his eyes and almost seemed _nervous_ as he shifted his weight_._

But, as we all knew. Nervous. Jealous. Or whatever Zachary Goode was.  
>There was no chance of him showing it. Not for more than a nanosecond.<p>

"You've lost it, Gallagher Girl," He shook his head almost ashamed of me.

"Lost _what_?" I challenged him.

"You're supposed to be the pavement artist here. The _prodigy_." Zach said those words with disgust, "And, you didn't even place one counter surveillance move out there."

"Not. One." Zach finished, lifting his eyebrows as he stood not 5 inches from me and whispered cockily "I don't know what Gallagher Academy calls it. But, that's what I _losing it_,"

I knew I should have checked my tail. I knew I should have done _something_ to get rid of him.  
>I knew I should have done anything but forget about it.<br>But, I had good reason.  
>Unfortunately, that reason was under the pretense that I <em>had <em>been losing my touch to nerves.  
>I had been losing it ever since I came back.<p>

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I cut a glare through Zach's bright green eyes that shone perfectly through the moonlight peaking through the windows of the old corridor, trying my best to muster up the courage to say:

"You're not telling me something."

A chill shot down my spine when he didn't answer.  
>Zach's face was still as stone, his mouth drew a line across his cheeks and just like I had only seconds ago, he swallowed – he was trying to find courage.<p>

"Is someone out there, Zach? Is someone still looking for us? Looking for me?"  
>I inquired quickly dishing out whatever the possibilities could be, what he could be keeping a secret.<p>

"No."  
>"Zach!" I demanded.<br>"I don't know, Gallagher Girl," grabbing my shoulders, he looked me square in the eye and his voice grew dark, as if he wanted to yell or scream but the sleeping mansion incasing us prohibited him to do so.  
>"Then why are you being so…" I didn't know how to finish that sentence.<p>

But, I didn't have to. Zach cut me off, gripped my shoulder and shook me once as if to wake me up and make me see what he meant, make me finally understand. Though I wasn't sure I would.

"Cause, maybe you didn't get the memo, Gallagher Girl, but you're the only thing I have left."

And, to an extent that was true.  
>Zach had lost his mom.<br>His school.  
>His home.<br>But, since when did I become _his_?

In that second my mouth went dry, and I couldn't speak, which was apparently a popular happening that night. But, I _can_ tell you what I _wanted_to say.

I wanted to say that he wasn't making sense.  
>I wanted to say that he didn't own me.<br>I wanted to say…

Well, frankly, it didn't matter because in the second I could say something, a long slow clap emerged out of the darkness and Zach and I both turned to see the audience I was almost certain we both knew was there in the first place.

"I've gotta say," Bex spoke up as she leaned her shoulder against the stone wall and surveyed us as a pair while Macey took the same position on the opposite wall and Liz just stood in the middle…taking notes.

"You two have been really out of whack ever since you got back to Gallagher. But, that right there." She almost laughed, "That was the Zach and Cammie_ I_ know."

"It's true. You've really made progress." Liz piped up, glancing at us from behind her notebook and pen. I sighed practically feeling Zach pretentiously rolling his eyes at my best friends, who, honestly, could be considered stalkers in the real world. Either that or just_ really_nosey.

"Now, all that's left is the big, fat elephant in the room," Macey smiled mischievously at me. I cringed, "Are you guys going to finally admit it to each other?"

"Admit what?" I asked despite the fact that I knew exactly what Macey McHenry was talking about. And, I knew not only because I knew _her_, but, also because, unlike with Josh, I _knew _how I felt about Zach. Despite the fact that sometimes, he made me so frustrated, or made me fall so hard that I didn't know what to feel: fury or…

"Admit that you-"

But, Macey stopped short because as she moved her eyes from me to Zach, her jaw dropped.  
>I turned. And, to no surprise, I found that Zach had done what he and I did best.<br>He disappeared.

To my friends, this was new. They'd never seen Zach simply slip away, vanish, right before their eyes, underneath their highly trained senses. It was humiliating.  
>But, I was used to it.<br>And, from his habit to disappear, I've learned that when Zachary Goode didn't want to be somewhere. He wasn't going to be there. Not if he could help it.

Letting out a sigh, I kicked the dirt and dust built up on the floor below my feet. Staring at the place Zach stood before he slipped away, I could barely think. I could barely breathe.  
>But, my mind had went into auto pilot and decided to release the pressure the millions of thoughts pounding against the walls of my brain created and just utter the words I needed to hear.<p>

"I'll admit it." I whispered to the night. But, I knew it was useless. Zach wasn't there to hear it. And, as far as I knew. He wasn't there because even if he was, he wouldn't admit it. Not to me. 

"Wait. So. You don't like Josh anymore?" Liz enquired as all four of us laid in the middle of our room at midnight, notebooks everywhere, mostly for Liz's record keeping and research necessity than anything, and a bag of popcorn in the middle of our circle.  
>I shifted my head that rested on Bex's stomach while Macey's rested on mine, Liz's on hers, and Bex's on Liz, then sighed catching sight of the dried up daisy still lying on the desk positioned in my section of the room.<br>"Yeah" I answered bitter-sweetly, but without a trace of regret.

Josh is a good guy. A sweet guy. Who is cute. And, courteous.  
>He is innocent. He is honest.<br>He is everything that I knew I wouldn't come across much in my years after Gallagher.  
>Josh saw me. Saw me as a girl he liked, a girl he was interested in. And, with him, I could be…<br>just a girl.

But, that was the catch.  
>I wasn't born as "just a girl".<br>I was born a _pavement artist._  
>I was bred as a spy.<p>

And, though Josh Abrams would probably never have to hide.  
>I would <em>always<em> have to.  
>And, maybe with Josh I could just be a girl.<br>But, the real Cammie Morgan wasn't just a girl, she was a future CIA operative.

Liz took a second to jot down the information I just gave her, and the tapped her little chin with the pen in her hand as she pondered her next questions, as if it was safe to ask.

"But, you like Zach?"  
>"She's <em>in love<em> with Zach" Macey answered for me. Liz glanced at my face to check for the accuracy of that statement.  
>I made no objection.<p>

Every girl in the world could be a rose.  
>But, though<em> I<em> might be, not all roses are red.  
>Some are pink.<br>Some are yellow.  
>Some are even tie-die, thanks to creative florists.<br>And, just like you couldn't separate a rose from its color, you couldn't separate the spy from the spy-in-training. The color is what makes a rose unique. It's what differentiates it from all the other roses out there.  
>And, though sometimes you can mistake ruby red rose for maybe having a little pinkish hue in there.<br>Or maybe under a different light it can appear more orange.  
>No matter what, that rose will <em>always<em>be red.

And, Zach, unlike Josh. He could see my colors, he knew them. He knew _me_.  
>But, knowing me as Cammie Morgan ,the pavement artist and spy in training, the girl who was an only child but had a million different sisters all over the world, the girl who loved what she did, what she was going to do and would do it until the day she died. Just like her father.<br>Knowing me as _that girl_ was something Josh could never do.  
>He would never have that freedom. He would never see what color rose I really was.<p>

And, if any girl wants one thing most in life, it'd be to be seen.  
>Not even just seen, but seen for your true colors, no matter the circumstance.<p>

And, Zach had done all of that  
>With an annoying yet semi-attractive smirk on his face, no doubt.<br>But, he did it.

"So, the goal now is…" Bex thought out loud sleepily.  
>"Get Zach to admit that he loves Cammie" Macey stated simply, still showering her superior knowledge of boys upon us, even after three years.<p>

"But, what if he doesn't?" I bit my lip nervously feeling my stomach jerk in fear.  
>"Oh. He does." Macey said confidently.<br>"Of course he does." Bex confirmed. I smiled at their encouragement, but I wasn't so sure…

It seemed too good to be true. Zach was gorgeous. And, I, well, I was the girl that disappeared in a crowd without fail. The subject was almost too fragile to hope for. Because love in a situation like that was something I was sure wasn't common, not only among us, but among the entire population of eighteen year olds.

"Well, roses are a common symbol for love, romance and affection. Especially red roses. Do you think considered that when he purchased and/or stole 'the evidence'?"  
>Liz pondered while I glanced up at 'the evidence', otherwise known as the fresh bouquet of roses still laying on my bed with a wet towel wrapped around their stems until we found a vase.<p>

"Nah." I stated.

"Yes!" Bex shot out in rebuttal as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "He did. He knew daisies were the flower of death or whatever. There is _no way_ he could have gotten you red roses and not thought about the meaning."  
>"She's right. He's smart. He's not like other boys." Macey agreed as she fixed her hair that splayed across my stomach. I could almost feel Bex smiling with pride.<br>Unlike the rest of us, she was catching on.

"But there's no way that…"

"Cammie," Liz pleaded for me to stop, "I know what you're going to do. You're going to deny it and say there's no way he would like you, but the evidence shows that there's a 94 percent chance-"

"Cam. He loves you. End of story. End of research." Macey said, obviously tired of hearing facts that would only beat the matter to death when what they really should be focusing on is getting him to say it. Which would be harder than you think.

"I agree," Bex's British accent rang toward the ceiling of our dorm room, "Cause the other 6 percent just accounts for the matter that by some slim chance he's clinically insane."

"Slim chance doesn't mean impossible." I lifted my finger up to make my point.

"Cameron Ann Morgan," Macey groaned almost sounding a little more like my mom than my roommate, and with that tone, I could tell she was both serious about her opinion, and serious about the fact that if I didn't stop questioning the truth of her opinion, she'd make me pay.

"You're in love with him. He's in love with you. It's possible. _End of discussion_."

There was a second of silence. A second of silence that seemed to last forever.  
>But, in that second it seemed that Macey's words were soaking in.<br>Suddenly, I felt a warm glow in my stomach.  
>Hope.<p>

"Okay…" I sighed, "So, how are we going to make him admit it."

Glancing from Macey to Bex to Liz, I received all their weird looks and watched their ears perk up interest, and I couldn't help but feel that I started something significant.

"We could plant some bugs…" Bex suggested with a sly smile.  
>"And, get you two alone." Macey stated nodding as we all propped ourselves up and exchanged a look.<br>"We could research his habits, his emotional tendencies, and then pull together a script that would make him say exactly what we want him to, and get it all on tape." Liz's face lit up and something passed between us four that I couldn't explain.  
>Something that felt like…<br>Well, it felt like _home_.  
>It felt right.<p>

"Guys," I smiled wider than I had in weeks, a fire kindling inside me, a need to do what I was born to do with the people I was born to do it with.  
>"We've got work to do."<br>My best friends nodded in agreement, jumped to their feet with a sort of carefree joy that we'd been estranged from for awhile. But, not any longer.  
>And, I knew it was official, when Bex gave me a killer smile, threw her arm around me and said:<p>

"Welcome back, Cams."


	4. Thanks for Reading!

**Thanks for reading! Tell me what you think!**

In the meantime,

Check out my one-shots: **The East Wing  
><strong>and** Top Five Reasons My Life Will Never Be A Fairy Tale**  
>And, my full blown story: <strong>A Record of Covert Operations – by Zachary Goode<br>**  
><strong>I'd love to here your feedback!<strong>


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